EEEEEEEEEEE, I heard a really irritating noise, but I closed the sound off by thinking about going to the shops. I was so excited.
Then, when I was ready I was waiting for my mum. I got in the car then I heard the noise again.This time I saw a crack in the ground. It was so big and the car was rolling towards it.
I tried to think of an idea, so I yelled to try and tell my mum to come out and drive us to safety. We saw a boy hanging on a stop sign, we tried to tell him not to fall.
‘I’m trying to hold on’ he shouted. We opened the top window and he dropped in and everybody was safe.
We enjoyed reading your story, especially the part where the boy dropped into your car safely. Perhaps next time you might like to add more speech between the characters.
Room 14
Omokoroa No1 School
New Zealand
I enjoyed your story it was awesome.
Gorav
Room 14
Omokoroa No.1 school
I enjoyed how you started with EEEEEEEEEEEEE because it really caught my action.
but I think you called of used some speech marks with you’re characters.
lucinda
Omokoroa.No.1
New Zealand