“BOOM” I woke up in an instant my crew mates were shouting at me saying stuff like “FIRE” or “WE ARE UNDER ATTACK”. I jumped up to see what was going on our ship was under attack by another group of pirates. We loaded up the cannons we had about 5 of them. I yelled out “FIRE” and the whole crew shot out the blazing balls of fire into the other ship but one of the cannons were not working we went into panic. The other ship shot back. After about 4 minutes of our ship sinking I remembered that there was a spare boat I swam to the bottom of the boat and got it we blew up the boat and set sail.
Miley, I note that you’re a year 4? This is a super interpretation of the prompt. Your use of descriptive language and capitalisation brings the tension of the scene to life for me.
Do remember to read your work aloud before you publish though. This will help you to hear where sentences begin and end and encourage you to use full stops and capital letters for every sentence.
Thanks for sharing,
Jackie (Team 100WC)
New Plymouth, New Zealand