Dear diary
2/11/2020
I was running up the hill and ouch! I was stung by a bee. I was crying and ran inside to my mum. I wen back outside and saw the bee dead in the tall grass and there was 2 little people taking pitchers of the dead bee. I name the dead bee Charlie. The little people where taking the bee into a little van and taking it to the little people boss. I followed them to the police station. The were puling the body parts out to Figure out why the bee died. The end. OUCH!!
Hi Ryan, I like how you have made the people little, rather than the bee, big. It adds a little bit of intrigue to the story. I’ve never been bitten by a bee but I believe it hurts a lot, so it was good that the response was that the person bitten was crying. Thought I would let you know that a pitcher is like a jug, a picture is like a photo. I wasn’t sure whether you had made a typo or didn’t know the correct spelling. Well done.